Thigh gaps?

So according to pinterest (which basically is how I judge trends, DON'T JUDGE ME!) the new thing to show you are skinny or fit or whatever, the new desirable trait is a gap between your thighs.
Uhm...why??
Because I am fucking skinny and have wee skinny legs and I have had a gap in my thighs most of my life. You know what a thigh gap means?
It means that pants fit me weird.
People don't make pants for really skinny thigh-ed people, I mean except maybe yoga pants, but they are stretchy and shit so it doesn't really matter.   I have spent my whole life wearing pants that don't fit my legs where they were supposed to. Remember how flares were popular when we were in high school and they had the weird sculpted thighs? I looked like I was wearing those weird military pants:

Ohhh yeaaa, so good looking.

You know how skinny jeans are a trend now?? Well it looks ridiculous to wear skinny jeans that are baggy (I was going to post a picture to go with this but then google presented me with this link and I was like wtf? http://live.drjays.com/index.php/2010/10/18/the-dos-and-donts-of-mens-skinny-jeans/  scroll down until you find it!). Baggy Skinny jeans is what you get with thigh gaps.
It's weird and overrated.
Just try to be healthy and stuff

There is my advice for the day. 

My list of 100 books

I want to preface this. There may be lists of this nature that will probably be much better at expanding your mind, that probably have a lot more classic literature that you really should read and all of that. That's fine. This is my list. Not a list of my favorite books either, some I loved, some I sort of hated in all honesty some I haven't even read. So it goes..
(also forgive any spelling errors or mistakes, I finished this up in one go around midnight)
I am going to sort of break this into lumps, first one:

Books I loved that I think you should read

1. Nine Stories by JD Salinger.
This is my favorite book of all time. I love it, just as it says it is a collection of 9 stories. They are abrupt, sad, shocking and full of squalor. My daughter is partially named after one of them.

2. Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
If you are an introvert and have ever been a misfit, just read it and know you have found your tribe.

3. Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger
Listen I could put every book by him on this list but I won't. This is his most commonly read book, I liked it. Some people like Holden, some people hate him, I both love and hate him, he's a whiny bastard but he's not wrong.

4. Tiffany Aching Series by Terry Pratchett
Technically a young adult series but they are good and I love the emphasis on standing on your own two feet and finding your own way to do things.

5. Bossypants by Tina Fey and/or How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
You don't need to read both. If you were a geeky kid growing up who tried to be cool but ended up being captain of the debate team, Bossypants is most likely going to seem familiar to you. If you decided who the hell wants to fit in when you can do things your own damn way (and you will go down fighting over things you knew were mistakes just to save face) go with How to be a Woman.

6 and 7  Lord of the Rings Trilogy and The Hobbit by  JRR Tolkien
I don't think I have to tell you why you should read these. They are good. Start with The Hobbit and don't try to rush the trilogy. It is is easy to get bogged down in Two Towers.

8. Girl With the White Flag by Tomiko Higa
A heartbreaking account of the battle of Okinawa by someone who was painfully young when it happened. Worth reading, be prepared to cry.

9. Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes by Eleanor Coerr
The story of a girl who was just a baby when the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and how she developed cancer years later because of it. This has been one of my favorites since I was a child. It is a true story and there is a statue of her in the Peace Park in Japan that has the inscription "This is our cry. This is our prayer. Build Peace in the World"

10. Princess Bride by William Goldman
I know you have seen the movie, and you really aren't missing that much story wise by not reading the book but the way this book is written is just fantastic and you need to experience it for yourself.

11. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
I read this in school and it became a favorite of mine. I love Atticus Finch, I love basically everything about him. He was portrayed perfectly by Gregory Peck. The movie is good but it leaves out many things, read the book.

12. Hitchhikers Guide series by Douglas Adams
I am not even going to try to sell this, just read it. It's good.

13. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Two of the best modern authors wrote a book together, really this book recommends itself. For added fun get really use to each author's writing style and try to figure out who wrote what.

14. American Gods by Neil Gaiman
It's good, it has an interesting premise (gods are brought to the US by immigrants but they never seem to take root) and you should read it before they make it a TV series.

15. Hogfather by Terry Pratchett
A story on the importance of belief and how it colors our world. It's by Terry Pratchett which is recommendation enough.

16. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Really the only work by Steinbeck I have read, but I liked it well enough.

17. Big Sur/On the Road/Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
I think everyone should read something by Kerouac, I am not going to say you have to read On the Road though, find one that seems interesting and plunge in.

18. Drawing with the Right Side of your Brain- Betty Edwards
Just kind of a cool book about learning to tell the left side of your brain to stfu for a little while so the right side can have some fun.

19. Tao of Jeet Kune Do- Bruce Lee
A little exercise routine, a little philosophy. This is one book that anyone who is hoping to achieve calm in their life should read.

20. Foxfire Series-The Foxfire Fund
A collection of books that cover knowledge and stories of the Appalachians, you will learn weird skills like making your own soap (100% from scratch, I mean making your own lye and everything). I am gonna say you can't appreciate America until you read at least one of these books.

21. Cat's Cradle- Kurt Vonnegut
It's all a lie and it is absolutely the truth. See the cat? See the Cradle. Busy, Busy, Busy.
Now if you had read the book, some of that would make sense.

22. Slaughterhouse Five- Kurt Vonnegut
It might be that I just like Kurt Vonnegut

23. Siddhartha-Hermann Hesse
Find your own path to enlightenment and you are more likely to find it.

24. Black Beauty- Anna Sewell
This has been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. If I want to be philosophical I could talk about how the fact that the same horse can end up having so many different roles reflects our own tendency to morph as we grow up, but really, it's just a good book about a horse.

25. Chronicles of Narnia-CS Lewis
I mean yea it has that whole religious thing about it, but it's a pretty good story as well. Except Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

26. God Bless you Doctor Kevorkian- Kurt Vonnegut.
Listen. Do yourself a favor and just go out and read everything he has ever written.

27. Dune- Frank Herbert
I didn't read it, but I watched the movie. My sister has read this book like 40 times. I am really not exaggerating that number, so it has to be a pretty good book.

28. Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins
Alright, there might be better books about dystopian futures and the barbarism they create and making kids fight for sport and stuff, but I haven't read them.  I read this after watching the movie, the movie made me feel very, very uncomfortable. The book went into things better. Read the book.

29.  Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
It always breaks my heart how she carries on more or less normally while hiding in an attic.

30. A day no Pigs would die-Robert Newton Peck
I had to read this book in high school. I am not going to say that it is some amazing piece of literature, but this book made me cry my eyes out. That, my friends, is the sign of a good book.  Also the bits about baptists are funny.

31. The Jungle-Upton Sinclair
One book changed the way an industry operated. Parts of it are disgusting and will make you want to be a vegetarian. I like the wedding.

32. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance-Robert M Pirsig
Be the type of person who takes the bike apart to figure out how it works, not the type that takes it to a shop for an oil change.   Something I am still working on

33. Perfume- Patrick Suskind
Being honest I haven't read it.  I saw the movie and I need to read it eventually.  Why am I recommending it? Because it is about 'orrible murders and one man's strange quest for perfection.

34. Are you there God? It's me Margaret- Judy Blume
I didn't read this one either. I read other things by the author so I can speak for her writing ability, and I love the idea of this book. Even though I am no longer a preteen struggling with finding my identity I think the book holds value.

35. One Hundred years of Solitude- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I was told about this book in 9th grade by my Spanish teacher and I keep intending to read it but then forgetting before I get the chance, then seeing something about it and thinking I should read it all over again.  I need to actually get to it. A book that after 15 years I still feel I ought to read has to have something going for it.


Books of a Political/Subversive/Counter Culture nature

36. Fahrenheit 451- Ray Bradbury
As screens become bigger I am worrying more and more about this becoming true. I like to think I would be the old lady with the match, going down with the ship.

37. 1984- George Orwell
This is a book you should actually read, because it is one of those stories that has become so embedded in our culture that most people haven't actually read it. It is probably not quite what you think it is.

38. Days of War, Nights of Love-crimethInc
You probably won't agree with most of the stuff in this book. That's fine. I don't agree with a lot of the things in this book. This book will make you think about what you do and why you do it  and I think everyone should embrace a good opportunity to examine their own lives.

39. Naked Lunch- William S Burroughs
This book is bizarre and I can't figure out if it would make more sense if I was on drugs or not, I haven't gotten all the way through it. I get bogged down in the middle. Some how that is my recommendation for it though.

40. Animal Farm-George Orwell
Perfectly shows off how an unchecked government uses the good intentions of the people and turns them to benefit only themselves.

41. A Clockwork Orange- Anthony Burgess
Read this 3 times until you actually understand the slang. I sort of love how this book follows a completely horrible character and makes him just short of actually likable.

42. Catch 22- Joseph Heller
This one took me two tries to get through but it is a great book. What's the catch? Catch 22.
It is best summed up here "Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to." Life is a lot like that, most of the time.

43. Art to Choke Hearts and Pissing in the Gene Pool- Henry Rollins
You didn't think you would get through this list without some Henry Rollins did you??

Kids/Young Adult books

44. Just So Stories- Rudyard Kipling
Because you need to know how the leopard got it's spots

45. Howl's Moving Castle- Diana Wynne Jones
I loved the movie by Studio Ghibli, and I think it did a good bit of honor to the story. This book is awesome though, and I say that as someone who read it as an adult. It has an awesome twist they left out of the movie about Howl's origin.

46. Neverending Story- Michael Ende
It is very long, it is sometimes tedious and you often want to slap the characters around a bit. You should read it once through anyway.

47. Anne of Avonlea- Lucy Maud Montgomery
I like Miss Anne Shirley (with two n's) she talks too much, she is a bit dreamy but she doesn't put up with other peoples crap and she goes for what she wants. Sounds like a book I want my kid reading.

48. Calvin and Hobbes- Bill Watterson
If you haven't read any of these in a while go read some. They are surprisingly enlightening.

49. and Tango makes Three- Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson
A cute story about a pair of penguins that adopted a baby penguin. They happened to both be boys.  For some reason this has upset people even though it is a true story.  Whatever. It is cute, Niko loved it. Support banned and challenged books.

50. The Jungle Book- Rudyard Kipling
Filing this under, you saw the movie, read the book

51. Charlotte's Web- EB White
Good story, pretty sad, I still don't like spiders

52. Harry Potter Series- JK Rowling
This series pretty much got people into reading again. It helped create a demand that was filled with more awesome young adult series that are also well worth reading, even as an adult. It was ridiculously well thought out and planned as well.

53. Aesop's Fables....by Aesop..
You should read them, I mean you probably already know a handful, but some of the less common ones are pretty interesting.

54. The Giver- Lois Lowry
An important book for kids, we all must at some point open our eyes to things that happen in the world or decide to keep them shut and pretend that it is OK.

55. The Giving Tree- Shel Silverstein
Such a simple book, such a beautiful story.

56. Serendipity books- Stephen Cosgrove
Beautiful, sometimes sad stories that always have a decent moral without smacking you over the head. My favorite series as a child and I still enjoy the stories.

57. Matilda- Roald Dahl
I particularly like Matilda, but you can't go wrong with any of his books.

58. Alice in Wonderland- Lewis Carroll
Again, read the book, don't just watch the movies. It is much trippier anyway.

59. Oz series- L Frank Barum
Oh the wonderful land of Oz, movies keep trying to capture it but there is so much there. Also you can't appreciate the political allegory from the movie.

60. Peter Pan- JM Barrie
One last time guys. Book is better.

61. Cautionary Tale for Children by Hilaire Belloc (I prefer the one illustrated by Edward Gorey)
They are abrupt and not very nice and sometimes that is what children need.

62. The Tongue Cut Sparrow- Japanese folk tale
I love this story, I read it often to Niko. I like that most of the time in Japanese folk tales the people who are cruel get way more than they deserve.

63. Hans Christian Anderson collection
64. Brothers Grimm Collection
Both of these just need to be read by people, as they were written. You should know the real story and not what Disney and other people have changed them to over the years. Cinderella's sisters cut off their toes and heel to try to fit the shoes and later have their eyes pecked out. The Little Mermaid does not have her happy ending. They were made this way for a reason.

Classic Books that I have read (at least in part)

65. Shakespeare
I won't say that you have to read everything by him, but I think everyone should read a few plays and sonnets, get comfortable with his work, get to the point where you understand what he is saying. Some of the jokes are hilarious.
66. Paradise Lost- John Milton
67. EA Poe
68. Arabian Nights
69. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn- Mark Twain
70. Call of the Wild-  Jack London
71. A Christmas Carol- Charles Dickens
72. Jumping Frog of Calaveras County- Mark Twain
73. Gulliver's Travels- Jonathan Swift
74. Once and Future King- T.H. White
75. Don Quixote- Miguel De Cervantes
76. The Courtship of Miles Standish- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I read it because I was told I was related to John Alden and Priscilla Mullins, but it is a pretty good story as well.
77. Moby Dick- Herman Melville
78. A Modest proposal- Jonathan Swift
79. Greek Mythology- whoever
Okay I am not going to go into each and every one of these, but they are classics for a reason. They are not the only ones you should read, but I think they all have their own merits and lessons. I tried to pick a few things over a range of subjects and origins and I tried for a few things that don't always come up in lists but I think everyone should take a peek at.

Classic/Other books that I haven't read but intend to at some point and you probably should read as well.

80. Pygmalion- George Bernard Shaw
It's what My Fair Lady was based off of!

81. Lord of the Flies-William Golding
Kids fighting for dominance and the human nature and stuff

82. Common Sense- Thomas Paine
It is part of why we are our own country

83. War and Peace- Leo Tolstoy
Just to say you conquered this behemoth

84. Middlemarch- George Eliot
It's about ladies and education and marriage

85. Little Women-Louisa May Alcott
It's about sisters and growing up and stuff

86. The Iliad- Homer
Trojan War!

87. Sherlock Holmes-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
I have read a few of the stories, but not enough. Also you can think of Benedict Cumberbatch while you read.

88. 20,000 Leagues under the Sea- Jules Verne
Honestly, I think everyone should read something by Jules Verne. I picked this story at random

89. Dracula- Bram Stoker
90. Frankenstein- Mary Shelley
These two are on here because, classic monster books! Also, it's the same idea of you shouldn't be content to watch the film.

91. Uncle Tom's Cabin- Harriet Beecher Stowe
This is on there because of the King and I. That made me feel like I should read it, I still feel that way. I will get around to it.

92. Lolita- Vladimir Nabokov
It is kind of an uncomfortable story, and one that has permeated our culture, so I think it should be read.

93. Divine Comedy- Dante
Reading just The Inferno doesn't count. Read the whole damn thing.

94. The Canterbury Tales- Geoffrey Chaucer
I remember we sort of picked at this in English class one year. It picks at elements of society and I am always for that

95. Les Miserables- Victor Hugo
I have seen a few film adaptions, curious as to how they stack up against the book.

96. Phantom of the Opera- Gaston Leroux
Who doesn't like mad opera ghosts?

97. Three Musketeers- Alexandre Dumas
I feel like the movies are always missing something, maybe the book has it?

98. Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
I dunno if it is because I am a lady, or because it is so well known, but it seems like one of those books that you just sort of have to read eventually.
Zombies are optional.

99. Don Juan By Lord Byron
Who doesn't like reading about sort of slutty guys?

and 100 is a special Mention (also I forgot to put it in the first section and realized when I was already in the 80's and I am NOT renumbering all of that)
Silver Hollow by KL Little.
I might be a little biased because I know the author, but it is really genuinely good, it's a nice little collection of short stories and they all sort of intersect and cross over one another in great ways. And it's like a $1. You can't beat that.

100 books to read?

So here is a a pretty reasonable list of books to read before I die, I mean skimming through I have read a number of them, I have thought sincerely about reading a few more (hey I grew up being told it's the thought that counts :P)

Let's see just how many I have read (and no mom I am not interested to know that you have read like 95 of them, you are older than me and that's my excuse)



1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
I started reading it, then I started reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I have finished neither. I did see the 6 hour version which I think should count for something


2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
I totally read this one! The whole trilogy.


3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
Nope, haven't even touched it

4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
Ya'll know I read it. Every time book, and I threw a few of them across the room for good measure


5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
One of my favorite books actually. I wish I knew Atticus in real life.


6 The Bible

I have read some of it, I have several times considered doing a straight read through, you are allowed to skip over all the people begetting other people right?


7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
Nope...no Bronte. I am saving Bronte and Austen for my 30's? That is my new excuse.


8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
Read it, of course I have read it. Also I think most people who talk about it haven't. Which is a damn shame.


9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
We own it, Skull read it, I haven't yet...


10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
Nope, haven't read it, haven't ever really thought about reading it. I probably should though.


11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott
Haven't read it. We are throwing this in with Austen and Bronte. 30's


12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
NO. NO. And I refuse to. My 11th grade English teacher thinks I read it and that is close enough, I aced that final essay.

13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
Read it, 1.5 times actually. I got half way through the first time and then finished it the second time.


14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
I have read many works of Shakespeare, not everything though.


15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
"REBECCA!!"- Catbug         Never even heard of it.


16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien
Read it! It was very good. Working on getting Niko to a point where we can read it to her at night. Her attention span isn't quite long enough yet.


17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulk
uhm Nope, never head of it


18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger
Haahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Yes. I have read it. I have read pretty much all there is to read by Salinger. Nine Stories is better.


19 The Time Traveler’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
Nope, can I just watch the movie for this one?


20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
Haven't gotten around to wanting to read this one yet


21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
I started reading it, and you know what? I am just never going to read this book again. It is boring and just a damn romance novel. So NO.


22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald
Nope


23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
Can we get some Dickens on this list that I have read?


24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
I checked it out of the library once


25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
Read it! Whoooo, I was starting to feel bad there for a while.


27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Listen, I am just really not into Russian literature.


28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
I haven't read it, but I have considered reading it


29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
This one I got! I have read Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass.


30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
Haven't read this either


31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
See above note about Russian Literature (No, Anna, I don't care. You only like it because they spelled her name the right way)


32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth." Again, I have thought about it but not read it.


33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis

I read half of them. Voyage of the Dawn Treader happened and I couldn't keep going.


34 Emma – Jane Austen
Goddamnit Jane Austen I told you! 30's!


35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
30's!!!!


36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
Didn't we cover this already?


37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
Nope, never read it


38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
If someone can recommend it I will read it, doesn't sound that good.


39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
I looked at it in a bookshop once.


40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
Read at least several Winnie the Pooh stories as a kid.


41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
Read it! Yay something I read!


42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown

Did not read this book. Don't really care about the Illuminati or whatever
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
I should read this one, I remember my 9th grade Spanish teacher telling us about it


44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
Never heard of this one, being honest.


45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
This one either


46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery
I am half way through this book, I put it down somewhere......


47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
Thomas Hardy we meet again. Maybe after I forgive you for Tess...


48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
I think I own this somewhere


49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
I am apparently the only person ever who didn't have to read this in school


50 Atonement – Ian McEwan
What?


51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel
I saw the movie and I am pretty sure the book is better, will get around to this one soon.


52 Dune – Frank Herbert
Anna read it enough that I don't have to.


53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
Cold is not comfortable, what kind of farm is this?


54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
Jane Austen! Leave me alone. I have you on my kindle, it will happen eventually.


55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
This guys name seems backwards, no I haven't read it


56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Nope


57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
Ha! See some Dickens I have read. It was alright. Bunch of people who didn't have their own language, just a stupid accent. Let's end this meeting on a high note...


58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
I have heard of this one, I think I will probably read it eventually


59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night – Mark Haddon
What? No I didn't read this.


60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Love and Cholera do not mix


61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
Read it and loved it. I cry every time


62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
I will read this eventually.


63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
Her last name is Tartt. hehehe wonder what her secret history is.


64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
The bones were very lovely (didn't read it either)


65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
This one is also on my kindle waiting to be read


66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
The code will be "on the road..yea" Read it..on the road.


67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
NO Thomas Hardy.


68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding
I don't think I can read this because I saw the movie and I am just going to be seeing Renee Zellweger the whole time


69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
Again never head of it


70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
Read it, I think it was an abridged version though


71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
Please sir, may I have some more? Never actually read it.


72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
It's on the list of things to read


73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
Read it. Might as well just watch the movie.


74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
Obviously not a deserted island though...


75 Ulysses – James Joyce
Not a work by James Joyce I have read


76 The Inferno – Dante
The Divine Comedy would be better suited for this list.Do it right. I have read some of The Inferno, but not all of it.


77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
That sounds like a porno


78 Germinal – Emile Zola
Nope


79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
Nope


80 Possession – AS Byatt
Nope


81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
Read this one a few times.


82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
Didn't hear of this until the movie came out


83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker
Wasn't Oprah in the movie? Never read the book


84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
Nope

85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
Nope, but I think I will eventually


86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
Not this one either


87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White
I have read this one, I still don't like spiders, sorry Charlotte


88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
Heard of this one, never read it


89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
I have read a few Sherlock Holmes stories but no where near all of them. I own it though.


90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
Nope (only 10 more!)


91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
Not this one


92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
I own it, read a bit of it


93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
That sounds terrible


94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
Haven't actually read it


95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
Nope, sounds a bit dim....


96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
Is Alice the name of a town that they want their town to be more like...or does someone want a town to be like a person?


97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas
I have read like the first chapter? It is also on my kindle


98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
I did read it, this seems like cheating since Shakespeare was already listed


99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
Not one that I have read actually. Shockingly.


100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo
Uh, I saw the non musical movie adaption. I will get around to it



Typical, no Vonnegut or Pratchett, only Kerouac is On the Road and the only Salinger is Catcher in the Rye and way too much Jane Austen and Thomas Hardy.


Come back.....Wednesday when I present MY list of 100 books that people should read. 

Just you? ha!

This is the post the bloggess  put up today http://thebloggess.com/2013/09/is-it-just-me/


Basically this is how I feel, minus all the medications. I am too poor for medications.
It's not that I am so fundamentally depressed that I think the world would be better without me in it, it's just that I feel like I don't do anything, contribute or add anything to it. I just exist. I float through each day on a fog of numbness and complete lack of motivation to do anything other than the bare minimum.  I can put it away for a little while at a time, be normal for hours, sometimes even a whole day or two but it always comes creeping back.
I can sit on the internet for hours and not do anything, pretending to engage with the world.
It's not that I am an internet addict, I do just find without it. It just gives me something to do other than lay on the couch or sleep. Otherwise I find myself wandering around the house, looking at all the things I should be doing and pretty much going Nope to every single one of them.
I have the best family in the world because they put up with it like it's normal. My kid goes and keeps herself entertained for hours WITHOUT causing widespread destruction and panic. My husband quietly goes about doing all the things that I can't motivate myself to do.  I love them for it and I hate myself for making them be that way.
Not to get all political, but this is sort of the reason I am looking forward to the new health care system. I can't afford healthcare, my husband is a freelance artist and I work part time. Hell even when I did work full time I couldn't afford healthcare. With the new system I can go see a doctor, maybe by this time next year I will feel normal. I really, really want to feel normal.


Alright...enough of a pity party.
Here is to more optimistic posts in the future.

Books of my people

So I went through one of those 50 BOOKS YOU MUST READ BEFORE BLAh blah blah lists
and I pulled out some that actually sounded interesting
specifically I read Bossypants by Tina Fey and How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
I preferred Caitlin Moran, it might be because she is British? I was raised with a sort of British sense of humor (as much as you can in the US without being raised entirely on Doctor Who and Masterpiece Theater reruns on PBS).  I like that she messed up a lot, made an ass of herself and still kept moving forward.
Bossypants made me love Tina Fey a little bit for being from Pennsylvania and for not being able to drive and feeling like a horrible person for it while her husband drove for hours across the state to visit various parts of their families, I have been there, I have so done that. I am probably also a horrible person for making my husband doing all the driving (and for many, many other reasons) but he for some reason loves me anyway (some day I will figure out why).
Through reading both of these and thebloggess I have come to realize that there are a whole host of other women out there who are rather like me, gawky and awkward, who would rather sit at home reading books, watching Netflix and eating cookies than go out and you know like....talk...to people. It's not that I don't like people, it's just that I don't understand why they can't just come to me instead. I sort of love that there is this whole trove of women rising up going I am not really pretty or supremely intelligent and I regularly fall over while walking, but I am clever and I can be funny and I know how to get along with men without showing them my boobs and that is why I am awesome.
I think we really need this trend to keep moving forward.

Now then, I am going to go bake some cupcakes.
Hell yea

Short People ain't got no reason to live

Random encounter in the parking lot with a guy who might be crazy, might be on drugs or might just be one of those sort of weird..happy..take life as it comes people  (who I think is part Native American, I mean I am not just guessing that he babbled something about it, me too buddy, just haven't figured out what kind yet).
He made a few comments at me (I was less than receptive, sorry guy! I wasn't trying to be rude, just distracted)  and the last thing he says is "You are a short one ain't ya, see ya shortie!"


I have spent my whole life being short (I mean obviously, it's not like I was 6 feet tall for a day and then shrank the next) and my whole life having people comment on how I am shorter than average.  Isn't weird how something becomes so intrinsically part of yourself that you don't think about it? I have always been the short friend, even when my friends weren't much taller than me, I was the little one. It is still incredibly novel to me to know people my size or smaller. If I was suddenly plunked down in Peru or somewhere else where I would be about average height (thanks Wikipedia for telling me that) I don't think I would know what to do..it is sort of funny because there is a sort of half second of irritation when I meet someone who is small like me and someone comments on it like NO, ME I am the little one.
Does anyone else feel that way? Like you are the funny one in your group and some new guy wanders in cracking jokes and you are like who does this guy think he is? Or the tall one or the bookish one or whatever.
It's silly right? How one little thing that we never even think about otherwise becomes so important to who we are, to what we are for a moment.

GET OFFLINE

Right so yes. I am writing an ONLINE blog to tell myself to get offline. I hope I am not the only one who sees the humor in this.

I noticed that I have become so attached to the internet, and it is just stupid and pointless. I just check the same like 4 things over and over in case someone did something interesting. Nope my bank account didn't suddenly have more money in it (tomorrow it does though, whooo, then $400 of it will promptly disappear when I pay bills). No one put anything up on facebook because they are either out doing things or they are ALSO checking facebook repeatedly hoping something new appears  etc.
I have a few books that need finishing. I should get to that.
I guess I should also get around to folding laundry and washing dishes but that stuff is even more boring than the internet.
I want to go out and do something but skull isn't home and I don't have money for the bus.

Poops.
I should make myself some coffee, read a few chapters to stop feeling sorry for myself and get some stuff done.
Alright.
Awesome...that's the plan....











Seriously...it's going to happen.

Money Money Money

If money is the root of all evil I must be a saint. Right now we make do on about $18,000. Yes we get foodstamps (About $250 a month worth, and I am decent at feeding 3 people on that), so at least we won't starve to death.  Honestly we live in reasonable comfort, one way or another I get bills paid each month (sometimes even I don't know how I do it..), we have enough to get a few little luxuries and I never feel really all that poor....until something big happens....oh say like our car starts to crap out on us.
We bought our car straight out with our income tax return a few years ago, it has been relatively problem free (had to replace the radiator within a year of buying it and it got a flat tire once but seriously, it is over 20 years old, it has run well so far). We have not had the money to keep it maintained like we should and we are now facing the consequences of that and now it needs quite a few repairs and replacements. We considered buying a new car but the bank said nope, can't do it, so that's that I guess.  I did find out I have a decent credit score though, yay for being responsible and paying bills on time!  Anyway, we are taking it into a garage tomorrow to have it checked out and find out what is wrong with it (it has started leaking oil rather badly) and how much it should cost to fix. Hopefully it won't be too much.
Because of all this stuff I have realized how badly we are mismanaging our money. I hadn't thought about it much before because well frankly we don't have much left after bills and gas. I sat down to look at our funds though and realized how much we waste in times of plenty (fat check comes in from Skull's freelance work) and how we regret that in times of lean (little to no work and we are just getting by), so I need to start budgeting and putting what is left aside for later.
I found out that with our current average incomes (a surprisingly difficult number to figure out since I work seasonally and Skull is freelance) we only need to increase our income  or reduce spending by $550 a month to be able to pay bills, account for yearly payments (insurance, back to school etc), set aside money for costly repairs and have a $2000 fund established in a years time. If one of us gets a minimum wage part time job we only need to work about 16 hours a week to make that. So, that is pretty much my goal and I think it is a pretty achievable one.  Feeling a little more hopeful about all this (at least until I hear the repair estimate tomorrow, ha!)

Anyway, that is pretty much it, not that entertaining but that is life kids. I will probably post a bit about trying to make it to my goals over the next year.

Endless frustration

Today was less awesome than yesterday.

So we have an old kind of junky car, which is partially our fault, when stuff breaks on it we usually don't have the money to fix it. So now we have a little money and we have a LOT of fixing to do, enough fixing where we asked ourselves if it was worth it. We decided to try to get a new car, went in for a car loan, I was surprised to hear that each of us have a better than average credit score (not super great, but better than average), Skulls is 2 points higher than mine *shakes fist* damn him. Anyway, after carefully considering our budget and income and expenses we decided that we could afford a small loan that would have a payment of $100 a month or less (which placed us at about a $4000 loan).  Apparently the bank does not feel these way, so it didn't happen.
At least I finally got around to making a budget (which is boring and gave me a headache even though I already more or less keep to the budget) AND I know my credit score now, yay!

Now we have to get the car fixed....which kind of sucks, but that is life and all you can do is keep moving forward.

Now the subject of money is weighing heavily on my mind. I am pretty good with money and some how, some way I always make it work each month but it seems like 2 steps forward, 1 step back, each time we make a little more money we have some expense we have been sitting on that it goes towards (things like improving the computer so that it can run the programs that Skull needs for work, fixing the car, someone gets sick).  My dreams for life have simplified, all I want is a little home, with a nice yard, a decent car and enough money to go on little trips to the coast or whatever a few times a year (well and to do that debt free and get out from under all the student loans blargh). I feel like we are just...missing something that everyone else knows about, that we are doing some little thing wrong and it is just keeping us down but I don't know what it is, that any little positive shift would set us on the way towards what we want. I guess that is what I have to keep working towards.

Dance party with you

Random title, just cause I can.

Trying to write in this thing more often, I feel it is probably good to talk.
There was just a eerily velociraptor like cry from my bedroom, I am pretty certain it was my child. She might be becoming a dinosaur, I don't think she would actually mind if that happened.
Speaking of Niko and dinosaurs (and those subjects are never very far removed) she had her second day of summer camp at OMSI today, of course it is about dinosaurs. They made finger puppets and discussed if dinos had feathers or not. She made the teacher a card yesterday that was covered in dinosaur stamps and said "I love you" because Niko either loves you or doesn't know you exist. I was probably like that once. But now I am probably irritated with you, because people are just so darn irritating. I might love you anyway but I am not promising anything because this is the internet and I might not even know you....creeper.
Apparently cats can hear those sonic bug things. We found one in the closet and Skull plugged it in because, hey why not?  It happened to be plugged in above one of the cat's dishes and when Nyla went to eat she got within a few feet of it then backed away like there was a snake on the wall (although truth be told if there was a snake on the wall she would probably try to eat it...), I might remember this later when I want to keep her out of things...

What did I do today?
I got free walla walla onion rings from Burgerville (you know you are jealous) cause they give you $5 on your card for your birthday, I also got a free raspberry milkshake, but I gave that to Skull cause I am super nice. I went to World Market to look at the things I would buy if I had more money (apparently coffee mugs and couches, those are my priorities in life. I did also look at fancy flavored teas).   I sat at a Starbucks and drank coffee and talked to Skull for like...20 or 30 minutes without being interrupted because Niko was at camp. Then I read a little, napped a little and cleaned out our indoor storage area. Got rid of a few things and consolidated a lot of things so that it is functional and you can access everything with reasonable ease. I even got some laundry done (and did handwashing! before there was a huge pile of it!!). I think tomorrow I shall try to get some of the mending that has built up out of the way.

Well that is all for now, I think I will get some more iced tea and go back to reading.
Reading American Gods (by Neil Gaiman, but if you are friends with me you already knew that) for the second time, no particular reason, just seemed like the best book on the shelf Sunday. I am grasping it better this time. Am I the only one who has to read books more than once to really appreciate them?? I will enjoy a book the first time, but I don't remember the little details (Skull does, which drives me crazy, except when I am reading a series and I can use him as a reference guide), the second time I appreciate the book much more. I like to get books to the point where I can pick them up and open to a random page and know exactly what has happened and what will happen.

Off my chest, out of my head?

I have been feeling a bit trapped lately.   No one really to talk to. Everyone has their own problems so I don't want to burden them with mine, or I don't know them that well or it just seems inappropriate.  Facebook posts about how profoundly sad I feel for no reason? Come on I am not 15.
Blog posts though...blog posts I think are ok (geesh, where is my deadjournal when I need it?)

I wish loving myself was half as easy as loving my daughter.
I wish I knew how to be feminine without feeling like I am playing a character. I feel silly in makeup, I can't wear heels to save my life I am very uncomfortable with my body and I have no idea what being sexy is like. Why does it come so naturally to others?
I wish I remembered what being happy for more than 5 minutes was like.  I guess that is my strongly suspected but not actually diagnosed depression talking because I don't really have anything going on in my life that makes me UNHAPPY  (frustrated, yes  but it's not the same) but I find it really difficult to feel happy and it use to be so easy. I feel caged in now. I feel like some body else.
I wish my brain would stop judging me for other people
I wish my brain would stop reliving stupid slightly embarrassing stuff that happened when I was like 6....seriously, brain? You suck. I was a kid, misunderstandings happens, why do you need to keep bringing it up?
I wish I was doing something that mattered.
I wish I could motivate myself to do something other than read books and watch another episode of something on Netflix.
Where has my fire gone? When did I forget how to dance on my own?
One of my favorite movie moments is Let me be your wings from  Thumbelina. I wish life was more like that.


I wish I had just one, real confidante (other than my husband because frankly, while I love him and trust him there are somethings that I want to talk to someone else about because he is in so many ways too close to me)
I wish I knew what happened to my best friends, I realized a few days after my birthday that the girls that I spent all of high school with? None of them even bothered to wish me a happy birthday, that hurt more than I expected it to.
I wish I had someone that motivated me to keep thinking, moving forward, be more intelligent, I have such surface conversations now that I think I feel the rust on my brain when I do start getting into deeper conversations with people and I feel slow and dull in my responses.

I am dissatisfied with just being comfortable. Being lazy.
Someone tell me how to break out of being comfortable? I don't know where to start, but I feel as though I am drowning in the dullness of my life.

Spring at last

March again, apparently I update this 2 times a year.
Lots of things going on right now, so basically I have been spending all day online expounding. There was a big case in Ohio where 2 guys raped a girl because she was passed out drunk and that makes it OK? Right? lulz...
They pretty much got away with it as well since they are serving like a year or two in juvenile detention and everyone is saying it was the girls fault for getting drunk at a party (where everyone else was also getting drunk). Basically people suck a lot and are willing to excuse just about anything if you make the perpetrator seem charming enough.
Also the Supreme Court is making a big decision about gay marriage, hopefully it falls in favor of it.
Lucky for me I have a lot of really reasonable friends who think that rape is wrong and gay marriage is awesome so not much controversy surrounding those topics.  Mostly the disagreements are over guns and stuff. Which is funny because most people I talk to fall into the "hey, guns are great and all, we do need to figure out a way to keep them out of the hands of crazy people though, also we should start trying to help crazy people more in this country" camp, but if you look at all of the crap going around on the internet it makes it seem like there are 2 sides either a) you want all guns to be melted and turned into sculptures FOR THE CHILDREN or b) you want everyone to be able to own ALL THE GUNS, and oh my god the government is trying to take them alllllll away.  I wish that news companies and people who create those stupid info-graphics that get passed around on Facebook would realize that we are all smart enough to fall some place in the middle of those two sides. Also, I wished that people who create info-graphics on Facebook would bother to fact check them every once in awhile, I want to see your works cited!
That is all I have for today, I am going to try harder to update this thing more often. I just feel like no one reads it. Maybe turning it baby poo green will help.